The past two years have been particularly challenging for me as I have wrestled with unanswered questions about God’s timing and leading. Why does he choose to close some doors? Why doesn’t healing come? Why does there have to be so much brokenness? Why can’t answers about direction be clearer? This might be a little ambiguous, but I’m sure you can fill in your own circumstance that has caused you to ask these, or similar questions.
I have cried out to God many times in this season. I’ve asked him for answers, I’ve asked for him to meet me in my pain, and I’ve asked him to meet others in their pain. To be honest, in the thick of this season I felt so alone. God did not meet me in the way that I wanted or expected. I didn’t feel an overwhelming sense of his presence that some people experience in situations of pain. I felt I could not see where he was in my circumstance.
Good thing God’s action and presence is not dependent on my feelings! The truth is that he is always present and always at work even if I don’t see it or feel it. This song was such an encouragement to me in this season, because at times I felt I could not say with full faith that God was present or working. But when I’d listen to this song, the band saying those words was enough for me to hang on to.
As I look back over the last two years, one way that I now see that God was working in my life was through other people. I expected God to show up in different ways, but he chose to manifest his presence through family and friends being there for me. Even when I did not see or feel that God was working, he was.
This has caused me to reflect on the amount of times that people in scripture must have had times of wondering where God was and what he was doing! When I read scripture, I sometimes forget the amount of time that passes between events. I don’t always put myself in the shoes of the people. But when I do put myself in their shoes I see:
Sarah and Abraham waiting for a promised child.
David, anointed as king, but waiting for God’s timing to become king – meanwhile being chased by Saul.
Mary the mother of Jesus, and all of Jesus’ disciples watching their son, friend, and Lord die on the cross.
I imagine there were many questions: God, what are you doing? Where are you? Why is this happening? This can’t be part of your plan! And yet, in time we start to see how God always knew what he was doing, and our life events somehow work together for our good and His glory.
So, whatever your current circumstance is, know that God is working in it even if you can’t seem to see or feel any evidence of that.